Why am I here?

Quite a philosophical question to kick off a blog.

In fact the answer is fairly pragmatic, I used to have a blog and I loved my blog, it was a lovely blog.  It was full of the joys of craft and children and living in the countryside and it was all true.  I didn’t tell a single lie.  Somehow though I fell out of love with that blog.  I went back to work and I didn’t have as much time create but I felt a lot of the people who kindly read the blog went there largely for that.  My children have got a little older and I don’t feel as comfortable blogging about them and especially publishing photos of the older one without her permission, and as she gets older and more conscious of her (beautiful in my opinion) appearance it seemed reasonable to me that her need for privacy outweighs my need for knitwear models.

I am different now that I work, I don’t have time to take lovely photos and edit them and write about them.  I can’t visit other blogs as often as I would like to and give them the much needed oxygen of comments.  My energies are split in three main directions, in order of priority; my family, my work and learning to be me again. I was a cynical and difficult teenager, my 20s were spent partying hard, my 30s have been consumed by motherhood – really, everything about them was motherhood.  And this year I turn 40.  I am frightened of that.  I haven’t done any of the things I was supposed to have done by now.  I wonder how many women feel the same?  Too many of us I think.

So there we are, that’s why I am here. Some sort of pre-midlife crisis complete with a compelling need to inflict my writing on the internet.  Perhaps you will join me, perhaps I won’t appeal any more but this is me now, too old to be cynical, too young to be wise but still with those opinions and something to say.  I’m going to say it here.

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Why am I here?

10 thoughts on “Why am I here?

  1. I feel just the same!! What with working again I have less time to craft, and way more interests. With some encouragement from friends Ive started a new blog…..about a random assortment of things but mainly entertainment. Im now at Fridayfun.wordpress.com. I’m just getting started but the second post goes up tonight.

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    1. hillytownwrites says:

      I am feeling much less lonely on my new blog than I was expecting to! It’s great to hear that others feel the same way I do. Thank you for visiting and commenting.

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  2. Just blog when you feel like it; keep it real. I totally understand how you feel you felt you fell out of love w/your first blog. I felt the same way about Knitspiring Odyssey. I had outgrown it with changes in our lives. I’m turning 42 this year and when I turned 40, I totally embraced it. It’s the new 30’s. I felt like I shed something, freeing me even more. My attitude is I don’t a give a (blank) about what others do or think. I will live life to my fullest and my mouth will always keep it real, no hold’s bar.

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  3. Arranging words to form mental images or explore ideas or to convey information was my preferred mode of communication before I stumbled upon Jane Brocket’s blog, Yarnstorm. Then I started using my cell phone to take photos and created my first blog, and have mostly interacted with bloggers who like Jane enjoyed the “gentle art of domesticity.” It is interesting to witness the direction Jane’s life took as her reader base increased and her family and businesses grew. While I never really had a pen pal, I have enjoyed developing blog pal friends through my blog. I miss hearing from those who no longer visit with me. However, I understand…truly the many circumstances that affect how we choose to invest our lives. I look forward to reading your words and glimpsing your photos here and there as you post them, Harriet. I just turned 65 and am cheering you on through your 40’s and beyond 🙂 In many ways I still feel like I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I am grateful that frequently I find myself delighting in this day, this moment of being, and I wish you that joy as well. xx

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    1. hillytownwrites says:

      How lovely to hear from you Gracie. I hope that you will find something here to interest you, I still check in on your blog quite regularly but rarely comment at the moment.

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  4. Honestly, it happens to the best of us…

    I’ve not blogged in 14 months. Have often thought about it, have wanted to… but simply don’t have the energy to do so, for various reasons, but most of them you’ll probably be aware of from FB. Some of them are very similar to yours. The Girl and The Boy are growing up, and whilst I love The Dog dearly there are only so many photographs of a spaniel looking slightly deranged that I can take before I start to mimic him! 😀

    However, I do have a new research project on the go, so I might start blogging again fairly soon…

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    1. hillytownwrites says:

      We are at a certain point in our lives where spare time is hard to come by and easy to fill. I don’t know how much I will manage here but it’s going to be more than nothing, which was what I achieved on my old blog in the last year or so!

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    1. harrietsurtees says:

      Thank you for being my first comment on my new blog Meredith, I have tried to leave a comment on your blog but for some reason keep getting an “openiderror” message which I don’t understand. I will work it out and try again.

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